suicide

suicide
this is a deep topic but a very important one. it is very relevant as well. i feel like if i’m going to be giving advice i need you to know more about me. suicide is something about me. at the start of the year i started considering suicide. it’s never got so bad that i’ve attempted it but i did start self harming. i managed to stop about 2 months ago. 
i considered suicide for more than one reason but the main reason is my past. i’ve always been embarrassed to share this as i feel it is stupid and i shouldn’t fuss over it. 
i used to have a youtube channel. it was cringy and i did get picked on a bit for it but at the time i was able to handle it. this was 2 years ago and back then i was stronger and more confident. 
i’m now realising i’ve changed. i’m not confident or strong but i’m. i’m scared. i’m scared of getting picked on again if it comes up. i’m scared of people joking judging me on how i was 2 years ago than now.
little things from it keep popping up. this is hard for me to handle and for a while i thought about suicide. it wasn’t full on bullying but i got depressed and every night for ages i was in tears. 
after talking to people about it i’m finally becoming okay. my friends that i trust a lot are a really good help and i’m so glad to have them.
if you’re going through anything similar, try talking to people you trust. if you’re scared to talk to someone you know or you feel like you don’t have anyone to talk to, me and phoebe are happy to talk to anyone. 
lots of love Evanna xo

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